THE MAIDS OF HONOR AND THE THREE BRIDESMAIDS
A girl always thinks of her wedding day and with that she thinks of who will stand with her. There was a time that I thought a guy would stand with me as my bridesman. You laugh but I’ve always had more male friends than female friends.
When I was finally planning my wedding and it became a reality of who I had to choose to be my bridesmaid I had to think about it.
MAID OF HONOR
This was already written in blood that my sisters would be my MOH and I theirs. The problem was picking which one to be the first. Officially it would be the older one, but then the youngest never gets to be the first. On top of that one sister really stepped up to the plate and was wedding planner deluxe. She crafted her little fingers to the point of possible future arthritis, she put together a memorable bachelorette party and planned a bridal shower. I thought with all that she deserved the number one spot. Not that it was a competition.
My other sister lives in California now and although she was always the girlier of us three, she lost it as she got older. But she was the best host of the bridal shower and she made the wedding run smoothly.
This was more of a difficult decision. I know most girls just pick a lot of their girlfriends and boom done. One I didn’t want to have a bunch of bridesmaids, I wanted it to have meaning. Maybe my method worked maybe it didn’t.
I have one friend who I have known since we were young little ones of four. We have a cute story to go along with that too. Our mothers were at one point best friends and our families did things together. Her father tried teaching me to fish, her mom jumped in to save me when I dived in a swimming pool although I didn’t know how to swim. All these years later we are still amazing friends. We don’t see each other often, but she knows I’m her sister from another mother and she is mine.
A little before we became engaged, I reconnected with my high school best friend. I don’t remember how it happened but she invited us to go to her gym where she trains. We wanted to get in shape and along the way we reconnected. It had been many moons since we had spent time together. It was great and the hubby (boyfriend at the time) really liked her. When I asked her to be my bridesmaid we ended up hanging out talking for five hours.
This one was pretty easy to pick. We had known each other for a few years and she was one of the reasons I began dating the now husband. Since we went out on our first lunch date, we became inseparable. We are like night and day, yet it’s a friendship that works. She also brings out the inner girl in me. She now lives in California but that did not stop or lessen our friendship. Due to a problem she couldn’t make it to our engagement, which she knew about, even was part of the ring picking. But she was the first person to call me when she knew I said yes. We cried, then laughed on the phone and she knew on that phone call she was a bridesmaid.
This is something people have come to know as the bride picking the UGLIEST dress for the bridesmaids dress. I have been in Quinceañeras and weddings and it’s always the same thing, a dress that I will never wear again.
Why do this to the women that are supposed to be the closest to you? From what I understand it’s because that way the bridesmaids don’t outshine the bride. No matter what, the bride will always stand out and look radiant because it’s HER day. I didn’t want my beautiful bridesmaids in some ugly color or an even uglier style. I did something completely different. Since everything in the wedding had the touch of us in it, why not let the bridesmaids be the same? I went with my Maid of Honor and picked a color and got free fabric swatches at a fabric store. Had a meeting with my bridesmaids and gave them their sample. Of course two bridesmaids were in California so theirs were mailed.
MAKE IT THEIR OWN
They were also explained that they could wear a cocktail or formal dress; it was completely up to them. Why? Because they all have very different personalities, they represent all of mine. I let them pick their own shoes, just advised to stay in the colors agreed. Their makeup, hairstyles and jewelry their own to fit them uniquely. Why force them to wear something that won’t be them? I trusted all my girlfriends. If I don’t trust them by now, I should not have them in my wedding. My two sisters as maids of honor chose to wear the same dress, but wore different shoes and hairstyles.
The way I chose to handle the dress situation worked to our advantage. The night before the wedding, one of my bridesmaids looked at her beautiful couture dress brought in from California and she had a spot that was only made worse by trying to clean it. With no time and almost panicking, one of my other bridesmaids stepped up and went home to get a dress she had in the family color. It fit her and it tied in with the colors of the wedding. If I would have had them all in the same dress, there wouldn’t have been time to find an exact duplicate. We got a lot of compliments for the way they all looked unique and beautifully different.
I know life will take us in different directions and we may not see each other all the time, but I hope ten years from now we can sit and talk about the shenanigans that happened at our wedding.
LET’S BE FRIENDS